Milkmaid...

It's 2am. The house is quiet, and I am sound asleep. I have been for a few hours. Going to bed earlier than midnight since Levi was born hasn't happened; time with the husband is way too important to give into sleep any earlier than that. When you have kids, you take all the time you can and you take it when you can get it.

In the darkness I hear the faintest cries from the foot of my bed. I have been expecting it, and I welcome it. I am drowsy, so much in fact that I have to make myself stretch just to make sure that I can pick him up without stumbling. I finally am lucid enough to cradle my sweet baby boy. I give him a sweet kiss as he whines and I bring him back to my bed as I snuggle him up next to me, and as he eats, I go back to dreaming.

I wake again at 6am and he is crying because his little tummy is empty. I don't move him, but I crawl around him to the other side of the bed so he can eat himself back into a sleep and I can too. We cuddle as we dream and it has been this way since the night he was born. Each night, he wakes 2 times, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Never has it annoyed me or made me frustrated. I love getting him. I love having him next to me. I love feeling him wiggle. I love nursing.

I am so thankful I have come this far with nursing. I have only been doing it just over 3 months, but that's longer than I was able to do it with Dylan, and that wasn't by choice.  I nursed him for the first couple months of his life, but he was extremely thin when he was nursing. As a first time mom, I didn't know that that wasn't normal. I just thought he had Brett's god-like metabolism. But once I hit 2.5 months with Dylan, my milk ran out, even after countless sessions of pumping every two hours to get it back, and drinking root beer like crazy, and taking Fenugreek nonstop to try and get it back. It went away, and I was devastated. I had such a hard time accepting that my body wasn't doing what it was meant to do; not to mention the fact that I LOVED it so much. But, it was a blessing in disguise, because once we got him on bottles, he plumped up and actually looked like he was being fed. 

So when we had Levi, I was fretting that I wouldn't be able to nurse him. I loved it so much with Dylan and was scared the same thing would happen. So since he's been born I've been drinking at least 100 oz. of water every day, eating plenty of foods that are supposed to boost your supply, and making sure to feed him on demand. It's all been wonderful and I am just so grateful we are passed 3 months and he looks super healthy (not like a skeleton like Dylan did) and that we both love it so much. I love that I get to bond with him that way. It's such a unique and amazing experience, and I love it. 

I think some people look at me (and other moms who nurse) and can't imagine having their kid completely depend on them for their only food supply. I'm not going to say I wish that he didn't take bottles...I totally do, but only so I could get away for longer than 3 hours sometimes. But, he doesn't, and that's okay, because you know what? This won't last forever. It can be hard and stressful at times; I am constantly worrying if he is getting enough, and he prefers to be nursed to sleep, but it's all worth it. I am soaking it up while it does because it's one of the most rewarding and wonderful experiences I've been lucky enough to have. 

So I'm a milkmaid, and I am basking in every second of it.

Now when he starts getting teeth...that could be a whole other story. I'll let you know.

Levi's Fresh 48

Wow, I meant to blog this a couple days after I blogged Levi's birth story, then, as per usual these days, I totally forgot and time got away from me. Still adjusting over here to two kids, but I'm happy to report that it's actually going very well. Especially these last couple weeks, I have felt like this life is becoming routine and more mine, not just some brief moment that will end and go back to how it was before. This is my new normal and I can honestly say that I love it.

But anyways, after I delivered Levi they took us to our room and, since it was 4am when they did this (Levi was born at midnight), we got a whole 3 hours of sleep that night, without sleeping at all the night before. Needless to say I was exhausted the day after having Levi, but family wanted to come see him and I honestly just wanted to get that part over with so we could not worry about it and just have the rest of our hospital time to ourselves.

Although I was super excited for Dylan to meet his brother. I was dying for him to come. I missed him and knew he was super anxious to see us.

My mom brought him by at 10 that morning, and it was adorable seeing him react to seeing his new little brother. He was so excited and couldn't wait to hold him and give him "chisses" (how Dylan says kisses, and no I never correct it because I think it's super cute).

He loved holding him and seeing him and just watching him. It was so sweet, just like I knew it would be. He's obsessed with babies, and I knew he would be especially obsessed with one he could touch and hold. It was fun to be there as a full family of 4 for the first time. Dylan got to watch baby get his first bath and we got him a present from Levi so he would feel loved. It was a Hot Wheels track set which he had been asking for for forever so he was pretty excited that Levi got him that :)

After they left more of mine and Brett's families came, then we had the evening to ourselves. It was nice to be brought food, have ice bags for my vag made at my beck-and-call, to have a lactation consultant on hand to help me get the hang of breastfeeding, and just to hang out and not worry about the stresses of being home yet. We just snuggled on the hospital bed and stared at our sweet baby, watching him sleep and watched TV.

That night, Brett was dead set on keeping the baby in our room, which I hated, because the nurses come and bug you and the baby like every 2 hours and sleeping there was terrible. So that night we decided to let Levi go to the nursery since I had had 3 hours of sleep total in 48 hours and completely exhausted. I was very grateful we did, I slept really well except for when they came in to take my vitals. 

The next morning Chelsea from Chelsea McIntyre Photography came and did a Fresh 48 session for us! She is seriously incredible you guys. I have looked at these photos a billion times just because of how wonderful they are. She captured us with our sweet little bundle so well, I can't get over the images of it. It takes me back to being there and soaking up Levi's newness and his teeny tiny body. She documented the love we have for him so perfectly. 

Warning: Photo Overload. There were too many I loved so I just couldn't choose. Promise not all my posts will be full of 789 photos. 

Once she was done taking these we basically packed right up and went home. We were sick of being there, I missed Dylan, and I was ready to be home in my own bed and not be interrupted every 5 minutes throughout the day and night.

I am so grateful for a good experience, both with Labor/Delivery and with having a new baby to take care of. We love having Levi with us, and while it's been such a massive adjustment, we feel so extremely blessed to have him here with us and that he is ours. He is such a good baby. He doesn't take the longest naps in the world (45 minutes at a time) which I'm not used too, but other than that, he really is a very good and happy baby.

And he definitely loves to eat...he will never turn down the chance to have a meal. And I am so grateful my milk is doing so much better nutrient-wise this time around. With Dylan...oh my. The poor kid looked like a skeleton despite me feeding him all the time. I keep getting pictures of him popping up in my Facebook Memories from when he was born and the weeks after, and they make me want to cry. He was SO tiny. Levi actually looks healthy and is gaining weight well, and I am so thankful for that. I prayed so hard that I would be able to breastfeed this time around again because I loved it so much with Dylan. We just had his 2-month appointment and he is in the 40th percentile for weight and 79th percentile for height. Much better than the literal 1 percentile Dylan was :(

On another note, I am hoping to be posting more frequently now that I feel almost fully adjusted to having two kiddos. It gets easier as each day comes, which I love. I look back to when we first brought Levi home, and I really had no idea what I as in for. You really have no idea how hard and life-changing it is until you are living it.

But, despite the small hiccups we have had here and there, it's been really smooth and easy, especially now that Levi is getting on a schedule. I really am so lucky to have these boys, they teach me so much every day. Especially Dylie. He's been such a trooper through this life-change, and we couldn't be prouder of him. So grateful they are both ours forever :)