this week has not been one of the best weeks on record. not just because Dylan has had a constant diaper rash and has been waking up constantly the last few nights because he needs to be changed (and he's definitely as unhappy about it as we are), and not because i have gotten 2 migraines (adios IUD, you are coming out in June and it's back on the pill for me, it's not worth the migraines), but because i have had to deal with two things living in my house that weren't supposed to be there, and i had to deal with them (mostly) by myself.
i am not good with spiders. i have always known this. but this week, my lack of courage shined when it comes to those little buggers. on Tuesday i went upstairs because i heard Dylan in his room (he had just woken up from a nap) and i went to go open his door, and there it was. a massive, black, furry, white-striped spider sitting right outside Dylan's bedroom door on the trim. it scared the crap out of me. i ran screaming into my bedroom, which is right next to Dylan's. i sat on the bed with the 4 shoes and the Lysol can that i had gathered as weapons of combat, and tried to calm myself down and keep from crying. the thing seriously could've had it's own zip code, it was HUGE! i have never seen a spider so big in real life. i am not very stable around daddy-long-legs, let alone a spider that is half the size of a Scorpian.
i must have told myself 100 times while i sat there that i could do this, i could squish it, it wasn't going to jump at me with it's furry legs and attack me, and that i needed to do it for Dylan, because if i didn't, i would not be able to sleep knowing it was crawling around our house and could bite him in the night.
so i slowly gathered the little courage i had, a shoe in each hand (both Brett's, there was no way i was going to sacrifice one of mine), went to my doorway and peeked over to see where it was, and it had moved to the wall that was across from me. it scared me half to death so i ran back in and jumped on the bed and did the same pep-talk yet again. why the H did this have to happen while Brett was at work? this stuff always happens when nobody is around to help! so frustrating! feeling courageous again, and the thought that it could get away (the thing flipping hauled) and knowing it would be somewhere lurking in our house, i went to the doorway, spotted it (it had only moved a little bit) and it spotted me, and we stood there in a stare-down. for 3 minutes. then, i think it thought i was a statue because i wasn't moving (i was too terrified even though my chance was sitting there right in front of me), and it started moving again. i sat there and watched it, telling myself "once it gets close to this spot, i'll get it" and i kept saying that in my head a thousand times, and literally 20 minutes later i was still standing there as i saw it crawl into the bathroom (that is dark brown by the way) and then i really freaked.
why didn't i get it while i was in the hallway? at least i wasn't in the same enclosed room with it, and at least the walls were tan. the bathroom will help it conceal itself! the very thought sent me booking it downstairs, shaking uncontrollably, and had me dialing Brett's work number. i called him, and he thought someone had died. i was hyperventilating (well, almost) and squealing like i had just cut my arm off. i sat there and told him what was going on, and there was no response. 30 seconds later, i hear him take a breath and start again. he was laughing at me! how dare he?! didn't he realize how terrifying and how nerve wracking this was for me?! i was pissed. i hung up. no support from the husband. and this was no time to piss me off, i was already going a little nuts because of the dang spider. i would call him back after i had defeated the enemy, then who would be the one laughing huh?
i then called my aunt because a girl should understand my fear and nervousness a little better. i begged her to come kill it for me, and after she chuckled a bit and told me to be brave, she had the good idea of using a broom! it was an idea sent from heaven...i was so terrified of killing it because i didn't want to get so close to the thing. i told her if she didn't hear from me by nightfall, it had won.
i grabbed the broom, said a prayer, and kept getting close to the bathroom then backing away. this thing was going to die! and i was going to make sure of it. finally, while pretending to be like Angelina Jolie, i ran in the bathroom, looked around and spotted it right above my HEAD! AH! screaming words i should never repeat, i swooped the broom at it, and at first i thought it was jumping at me! i jumped out of the bathroom. i turned around and it was gliding down on the string coming out of it's butt! now was my chance! i swooped the broom, knocked it onto the floor, grabbed the Drano bottle i had with me in case i needed to drown it, and smashed it while yelling "die!die!die!" and it did. i'm sure it was a quick, painful and terrifying death for him. perfect. i stood up feeling victorious and feeling a renewed sense of awesomeness! i had just conquered my biggest fear that i never knew i had, and it had only taken me 2 hours to do it!
i didn't have much time to bask in my victory, as Dylan was now screaming bloody murder to come out of his crib. i am pretty sure he thought someone was murdering me, the way i had been screaming and banging things around. i grabbed him and told him how amazing his mom was, and as i am sure would happen for Angelina Jolie in a movie of hers, he smiled at me and nuzzled his head onto my shoulder and just held me. it was the best reward i could ever have asked for! the perfect ending to a horrible beginning.
then, as if that wasn't enough, two nights ago i thought i had spotted a mouse run across the back of our TV, i told Brett since we were both sitting on the couch watching a movie, and he thought i was nuts. i stared at the spot i thought i had seen it, but nada. i was just scaring myself after my terrifying experience days earlier.
well, last night, as i was sitting on my computer on the couch (this was at midnight by the way) and Brett was upstairs in the shower, i saw it! and this time, there was no questioning what i saw! i saw it's long tail, it's pointed ears, and it's beaty little eyes. of course, it has to happen while Brett is upstairs and the flipping mouse is blocking my only way out of the room (it was sitting next to the stairs). i brought my legs up under me, shut my computer, and sat there and yelled for Brett. did i care Dylan was upstairs asleep? absolutely not! that mouse was going down, and i needed Brett to do it! finally my yelling paid off when Brett came running down the stairs in his underwear and i told him where to look and sure enough, he believed me now! then it scampered behind our loveseat, and i ran up the stairs and stayed up there to have my little freak-out while Brett laughed hysterically and cornered off any ways the mouse could escape. after 20 minutes of coaxing, and after i had a towel around my head, had a jacked zipped up to my neck and wearing Brett's shoes, i helped him catch the mouse. we scared it from out behind the couch, into a bin we had set up, then shut it in. it wasn't nearly as terrifying since Brett was there, but it did not help that i had already had to deal with a similar situation earlier that week. at 2am, we went to bed soundly, knowing that rodent was out in our backyard stuck in a bin. victory once more, and man, it felt amazing!
case in point: I AM DONE WITH HAVING RODENTS AND CREATURES LIVING IN MY HOUSE! i can't handle it anymore. Brett just walked in from the store with a bag full of mouse traps and bug spray that will be sprayed around the outside of the house today.
Kate-2 Spiders and rodents-0
Winning!
